Nothing Hurts More

waves in lh

Nothing hurts more than seeing you leave
Knowing I’ll have to shut that door
Friendship is a tree whose roots grow deep into my soul
You hacked its trunk one day
Splint it with shame and guilt
Leaving its root to rot inside of me

Nothing hurts more than seeing you cry
Like a little boy on the kitchen floor
I wish we could cry together
I wish there were oceans strong enough to carry out the anger
I wish we could free ourselves from the cage of the past
From the things left unsaid

Nothing hurts more than knowing you left
Without saying goodbye
I still miss the kiss we never had
The arms that never held me when I cried
And still the question haunts me
Still the shadow of failure and doubt crawls all around me
Just tell me why
Did you have to break me?

Now I can’t tell you that I miss you
I have learned to see you with cold eyes
I have become hardest under the load of anger
You have to understand
I was the soldier and you were my war
You were my everything
My breath of life and my dying word
I knew that someday I had to break free

They say time heals the wounds
I am sorry that minutes, days and years have passed
Without a word from me
I am sorry I cannot forgive you easily
I am sorry for not knowing how to love you
Unconditionally.

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