Heavenly

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You jump
Your little feet land in the puddle of mud
Each drop of black water splashing
A musical score on those big white walls
You turn on the music
Heavenly notes that match
The jerk of your hips
The curve of your back
Girl with the red shoes
I can feel your heartbeat on the tip of your toes
As I slowly remove
Your knee socks
Oh, heavy carelessness
You used to talk more, I remember
But our love has vanished into silence
Your light burning, ever so bright
In my dark reverie
All I need is you
The flutter of your eyes
Knickers
Slipping down your legs
God, is this music good
Your form exhilarating
Your taste intoxicating
You don’t know the beauty of it all
How when you light your cigarette
Singing softly
I forget all
And dive into sleep

WHY AND HOW TO WRITE?

WHY AND HOW TO WRITE?

As a I writer, I am faced with a lot of questions and expectations by my readers. But mostly, and I think that any person making creative content has encountered this, people assume that everything I write comes from a genuine feeling or experience that I am living right now, at this moment, in the exact way I describe it in my poems.

Of course, in the midst of any creative process, there is always a very fine line between real life experiences, genuine emotions and imagination. I, as a writer, will always relate to my work, one way or another.

The process of writing helps me get heavy and strong emotions off my chest and relieves me from an emotional strain, and I believe that is what the general conception of any creative process is to most people.

Sometimes, however, I will write about other people’s experiences and emotions, maybe even characters in books or films, because I have been moved by their stories. I have been affected by what has been shared with me to the point where I feel I can write about it and taking ownership of a new, unknown emotion. You may of course think this is very much self-centeredness, but to that I say that the world and all its colours can only be perceived through one’s own perspective, hence the “taking of ownership”.

In search for an inspiration, I might also dive into my past emotions, relationships, life-changing moments and struggles so as to write about them. Again, even if these emotions were very real at the time, they may not be relevant to my present self anymore. They have been a way for me to let go of the past and move on.

Apart from the expectations my writers have had about my work, I believe there are a few things I can say about my creative process.

The defining reason why I publish my work, is because by allowing other people to identify with my experiences, I allow for them to take ownership of these feelings. These stories are not mine but everyone’s. This helps me to distance myself from my past.

Writing was therefore at first a therapeutic mean for me to acknowledge and put words on a profoundly painful experience I was unable to get past by. Hence, I was able to give form and meaning to what I was going through.

Many disregard labels and words as limiting, unworthy of our human experiences. To that I say that words create thoughts and feelings, not the other way around. Only when articulated can an emotion be understood, felt and fully embraced, otherwise it remains a chaotic mess that lacks any meaning or form.

Words help us describe our reality, but also recognize and separate different kinds of emotions. Without words, we are unable to spot any difference between strong feelings, we cannot give form to our experiences.

This also goes, in my opinion, for relationships. Indeed, labels may be limiting. However, they are crucial for the relationship to grow and thrive. Without words, there is no base to built our relationships and our future on.

Giving form to our emotions is the first step to be able to move on and embrace the future. For me, writing has been liberating and has helped me get past very destructive relationships and emotions, but also let go of all of the expectations and illusions I had about myself. It has suddenly become very clear to me that staying true to myself was about defining who I really was. And on my journey, I have come to realise that the person I thought I was carried a lot more irrelevant features than the person I really am.

So as to be able to find my core self, I need to write and keep on writing. I need to give form and meaning to my life. Some say that fear is conquered once it has been defined. I believe I can only conquer myself and take control over my life if I am able to give form to my experiences.

Wish You Were Here

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Wish you were here
Wish you could squeeze my hand until all sensation has left me
Wish I could still hear your voice
Your desperation cries
Even when it was to scream how much you hated me
Wish you would let me hit you hard in the face
Tell you how your self-destruction is the only life boat I got
Beg you to stay
So we could have a chance at hating life together
Wish you were here
We both know that the eternity talk is bullshit
Cause no matter how high I get
No matter how much my skin itches
No matter how much my eyes, abused by any and all light, make me want to rip them off
I can’t feel nearly as much pain as when we were together
Wish you were here
This life was freaking beautiful with you
Every morning I would wake up
With your strength in my arms
And even if I knew we were doomed to fail
I felt unbreakable, unstoppable
Just like you did
Wish you were here
Nothing was easy with you
It was a bullfight
Every move was heavy and loud
You pulled me to the ground
You were my struggle between the air and mud
You made me feel alive in the midst of dying
You made me matter a little more
I fucking wish you were here
Why did you leave me
When our love was the most beautiful pile of shit I’ve ever witnessed?
Why didn’t you take my hand and burn with me
Burn the people and places we loved
Burn the pictures
Burn the words
Wish you were here
There is nothing to live or die for, now
No rainbow bruises on my bodily picture
No spear to splint the pillar of my spirit
No more screams, no more laughs
I thought your power was louder than your absence
But you only left silence behind you
Only silence.

Wish you were here…

Laisse moi te conduire

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Laisse moi te conduire
Sous les cieux du petit matin
Au travers de la fine brume froide
Ne fixe pas le sol
Ce monde est trop beau pour regarder tes pieds
Traînant dans la neige
Les nuits trop écrasantes, assourdissantes
Des sons entremêlés dans un chaos d’ordures émotionnelles
Laisse les épaves couler sous l’eau des quais
Regarde, certaines étoiles brillent encore
Lumière résistant à la lumière
Souvenir d’un rêve dilué dans la banalité
Laisse moi te conduire
Respire
Sans joint, sans cigarette
Rien que ta face glacée sous le soleil
Rien que tes mains souffrant d’avoir été tendues
Vers des promesses fumeuses
Ce monde est pur et tu peux y laver
Les tâches de cette vie trop sale
Laisse moi te conduire
Sur l’autoroute de la récréation
Il y a des illusions qui nous font vivre
Il y a des réalités qui dépassent l’imagination
Alors laisse toi aller
Laisse moi te conduire
Tu ne seras jamais seule
Ton cœur bat son propre rythme
Ton âme trace sa propre histoire
Tu ne seras jamais seule
Je serai là
Pour te conduire
Sous les cieux du petit matin

10 Books, 16 Records and 20 Films (1)

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BOOKS:

1. Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling
2. Atonement by Ian McEwan
3. Autobiographies (La métaphysique des tubes, Biographie de la Faim, Stupeur et Tremblements, Ni d’Eve ni d’Adam) by Amélie Nothomb
4. 84, Charing Cross Road by Helene Hanff
5. Fin de Partie by Samuel Beckett
6. Macbeth by William Shakespeare
7. Haiku: Antologie du poème court japonais (Collection of authors)
8. Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami
9. La Vie matérielle by Marguerite Duras
10. The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers
11. Kosaburo, 1945 by Nicole Roland

RECORDS:

1. Blood on the Tracks – Bob Dylan
2. Bruce Springsteen Greatest Hits
3. Deep Purple – Live in Japan 1972
4. Forty Licks – Rolling Stones
5. Band On the Run – Paul McCartney
6. On My Way, Don’t Know Where I’m Going – Paul Simon
7. MU The Best of Jethro Tull
8. Where You Live – Tracy Chapman
9. Wild Young Hearts – Noisettes
10. Beyoncé – Beyoncé
11. Channel Orange – Frank Ocean
12. The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill – Lauryn Hill
13. HIStory – Michael Jackson
14. Musicology – Prince
15. Funhouse – P!nk
16. Whitney Houston – The Ultimate Collection

FILMS:

1. Spirited Away – Hayao Miyasaki
2. In The Mood For Love – Wong Kar Waï
3. Brokeback Mountain – Ang Lee
4. Notting Hill – Roger Michell
5. Bridget Jones’ Diary – Sharon Maguire
6. The Matrix – The Wachowski Brothers
7. Titanic – James Cameron
8. Lost in Translation – Sofia Coppola
9. Little Miss Sunshine – Jonathan Dayton, Valerie Faris
10. Juno – Jason Reitman
11. Like Father, Like Son – Hirokazu Kore-Eda
12. Pulp Fiction – Quentin Tarantino
13. Le Fabuleux Destin d’Amélie Poulain – Jean-Pierre Jeunet
14. Tell Me Lies – Peter Brook
15. Bright Star – Jane Campion
16. Gran Torino – Clint Eastwood
17. Va, vis et deviens – Radu Mihaileanu
18. Dead Poet Society – Peter Weir
19. Fight Club – David Fincher
20. American Beauty – Sam Mendes

-No particular order-