Procrastination

The white screen kills my sight, crushed under sleepiness
With every second’s tick I die a little more
There is not enough time and I am wasting it.
They say our generation is paralyzed by laziness
But, man, I think you do not understand:
It is a fight against your self and what you have become
An inner rebellion that screams “I do not want this life”
I-
Do not want this life
I wonder where I am and if it all makes sense
I look for an escape route in the realms of the web
And while I lose myself, the nervousness remains
To sleep is not an option, red bull however is
Biting my nails, scratching my skin
I try to forget the clock but never quite lose sight of it
And my heart sinks in and my mind gets sick
And my eyes get itchy from all the chain-smoking.
The journey to madness is short when there’s no runaway
Nothing to be surrendered, no way to be relieved
For I am not a hero and I know not passion
There’s nothing great enough for me to want to live for
I am a lone being, detached from all the rest
And in my narcissistic bliss I cannot understand
How anything can capture my attention
How anything can drive me and help me win this fight
Cause if I loved my studies, I’d study hard, right?
But there’s just nothingness, and nothing grasps a hold of me
I stare at the white screen and cannot close my eyes
I feel oppressed to live but unwilling to die
And just like a junkie looking for a high
I’m waiting for my instinct of survival.
 

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